Magnus Walker: Early Porsche Aficionado and Life Architect

So everyone, especially the male of the species (which means bachelors and OnceWereBachelors), has a vision for their life formed early on, before the restraints of reason and common sense take hold.  If you were to ask boys what their ideal life would look like, I bet we can all speculate accurately about what answers we'd get.

"I want to grow up to be a man of adventure, who travels the world, fights evil, makes lots of money, has a jet plane. And my mom makes me brownies and my favorite spaghetti and meatballs everyday."

"I want to be a scientist who has his own lab and invents things that help the world."

"I want to live on an island with my friends and hunt and fish for food and surf and swim all day."

Whatever that vision is, it involves an element of freedom and desire to be left alone by others - perhaps grown ups - to write one's own script, to be an architect of one's life.  No one envisions a life with a mortgage, private school tuition, and high overhead.

I wonder if, when Magnus Walker was a young kid he said "I want to live in a large warehouse with tastefully wild furniture, and a tattooed bombshell for a wife.  I want to make that warehouse available to Hollywood to use in edgy movies and music videos.  And I want to take the fabulous amount of money I make doing that, and spend it on restoring or modifying dozens of early Porsche 911s.  And I want to not have to bathe or observe norms of male hygiene too much."

If so, his dream came true.  If you have an odd half hour of free time, and you like old cars and interesting living spaces, watch this.

Seinfeld & Superman

Was this the zenith of 90s advertising? Yeah, I think so too. From my perspective, the only way to improve this would be to have Jerry pal around with the Caped Crusader. But I think the mood and tone would change.

"Oh YES! Wyoming."

Spyder-Man

There has been some buzz about the 918 Spyder, Porsche's eco-friendly new roadster.

Countdown to Motion: Porsche 918 Spyder Hybrid Drives. from TangentVector on Vimeo.

Reports say it boasts a 3.8 liter hybrid V-8 with 3 electric motors producing 700 hp, capable of zero-to-sixty times in the 3 ticks range. Phew, that's fast. And it supposedly produces more fresh air than it obliterates, simultaneously shrinking the hole in the ozone, and spitting out appleseeds onto the roadside as it goes. Watching the video, I'm ready to believe.

Porsche Geek Heaven

The title says it all, so here it is, the advert for the latest from Porsche:



... and here are the behind the scenes vids (special features for a commercial?), just to show that the cars were all there together in one hot, sunny place. I'm no expert but here's what I saw: a host of 356s in Pre-A, B C, and Carrera form, a Speedster, a 901, a red 959, a 917 short-tail in Gulf livery, both a vintage Spyder as well as the modern RS Spyder racer, a Martini Racing 930, a 962, a 917 Can-Am, a red 944 or 924, a 928 GT, a 997 GT3 RS in orange, a Carrera GT, Jerry Seinfeld's blue 993 turbo (the last of its type to roll off the line, the end of a generation), and all manner of 911s in coupe, convertible, and targa styles. The implication is quite clear: "You bet your sweet ass it's a Porsche", as if in anticipation of controversy.





The controversy, of course, is the front-engined, water-cooled sedan laden with every luxury this side of bucket seats front and rear, designed and built by the marque in question. Controversial because it is so far from the roots and intent of the first car that appears in the ad that the Porsche Purist Dicks have the temerity to tell Porsche that it's not a Porsche. I don't like this car, called Panamera, any more than they do but to them I say "Whatever." You can file this under "Not as good as it was, but better than it will be."

What I Wore Fifteen Years Ago: the Denim Shirt

Here’s what I’m copping to: what I wore 15 years ago was a comfy blue denim shirt from Land's End. And one from Polo. And one from J. Crew. And Ruff Hewn. Paired with khaki chinos on a Friday, they were everyone’s idea of “business casual”. What is inapparent to all but the Honoluluan readership is that a denim shirt is way too formal for this city, even when the sleeves are rolled up. You see, the Aloha Shirt, is more than acceptable five days a week here, but I was unwilling to accept that until, oh, 14 years ago. I know you don’t believe me but not all Aloha Shirts are of the laughable variety, either. Now I know better.

If one had to temporarily be someone else, one could do far worse than Alain de Cadenet. Despite the fact that, as far as I can see, all he ever wears – other than racing togs – is a denim shirt and pleated chinos, even to this day (14 years after the fall of the style, in my book). There isn’t much said about Mr. de Cadenet on wikipedia and IMDB. I didn’t even know whether he was a bachelor, a OnceABachelor, or a OnceAOnceABachelor until I looked it up (he’s a OnceAOnceA). But it sure looks like it would be fun to be him for a while.

Here’s what I know about him: former Brit race car driver; collector and flier of vintage aircraft (including a WWII Spitfire); father of Amanda de Cadenet (think a 90s UK Paris Hilton); owner of an Omega Speedmaster; wearer of trad racing goggles. His current gig is to appear on various High-Def TV broadcasts to sing the praises of different classic cars, including broadcasts of the Goodwood Revival vintage car races.

His greatest run is as the host of a series on Speed Channel called Victory by Design, in which Mr. de Cadenet spends a whole season sampling all (yes all) the cars from the world’s great racing marques. Ferrari. Porsche. Maserati. Aston Martin. Lotus. Jaguar. Alfa. Ford. These hour long episodes are automotive pornography, really, featuring Mr. de Cadenet at the wheel of priceless collectible sports cars. Above is the money shot for the Jaguar XK120, sashaying around British country B roads, lovingly filmed, engines roaring. Interspersed with his barely-contained enthusiasm for the subject, and a depth of knowledge steeped in history, engineering, and even styling, this is hardly your typical NASCAR documentary about how moonshining and bootlegging gave way to oval tracking. I have the Porsche and Ferrari episodes on DVD and they are wonderful.

So he may be a decade and a half out of style in his denim shirt and Dockers, even when he’s wearing a leather A-2 and goggles, but Mr. de Cadenet’s definitely got a good gig going.

Oh, and his son's name is Bruiser.

Brilliant!

Good Lord I love Brit comedy!



Dry humor. Irreverent. Unapologetic. Mildly (or grossly) slapstick. Hardly lowbrow. Clearly alcohol fueled. You can apply those descriptors to any of my favourite Brit shows: Monty Python. Fawlty Towers. The Young Ones. Blackadder. Now add Top Gear to that list, even though it's an automotive show rather than a comedy. Led by alpha male Jeremy Clarkson, who is flanked by his two sidekicks Richard Hammond, playing the part of the twee naif, and James May, playing the proper knob, the show is from beginning to end great entertainment.

A Few Minutes of Your Time: TAG Heuer Museum

If you don't have the time or money to get to La Chaux de Fonds, in Switzerland, in the next few minutes, click this link to the TAG Heuer Virtual Museum. It's pretty neat, although not intuitively navigable. There are arrows to click and windows to select and a 360 degree virtual view of the museum, which is laid out like, what else, a watch. If you can find the buttons for the windows, they're worth viewing, because they lay out the TAG Heuer history through landmark timepieces, which you can view with a virtual magnifier.

Delete this blog from your bookmarks if I use the word "virtual" again in this post.

Highlights of the tour, for me, are the chronographs closely associated with motor racing. McQueen wore a Monaco at the wheel of the Gulf Porsche 917 in the film Le Mans. The Autavia is said to be modeled after the side-by-side specialty clocks installed in cross-country rally cars. Both feature the tasteful twin-subdial layout that is so key to imparting that vintage vibe I dig so much.

Apres Victory Lane

I wandered my way to the website of Otto's Venice today and found this picture of a Porsche 914 celebrating after a race. Otto's is a premier Porsche-only garage where race cars and their engines are fabricated. Although, since 1973, Otto has taken care of all types of Porsches in Porsche-rich Southern California, he seems to have an affinity for the 914-6, the much maligned mid-engined joint venture with Volkswagen. I've referred to "Porsche Purist Dicks" (see this post) before who simply insist that a Porsche isn't a Porsche unless it's air cooled and rear engined, unlike so many 944s (the much maligned joint venture with Audi), Boxsters, Caymans, 928s et cetera. And then there are guys like Otto, who seem to know better. He would much prefer to whip unholy ass on the track in his race-prepped 914-6 named "Rudy" then fill the front boot of his street car with ice and 1970s-era pull-top cans of Bud, and laugh about all the 911s he passed.

OnceWereBachelors Garage

I stumbled onto a site about custom garage makeovers called Garage Journal . It's pretty incredible. I'm hardly a gearhead, and although I've done some work on the Mid-Life Crisis, as well as on vintage Mustangs my father and I used to own, I've never spent much time in a garage (other than to set up some drums, a PA, and some guitar amps, but that's another story). After seeing some of the amazing garages some people have, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. Maybe I don't need a huge bank of Snap On tool chests or a hydraulic lift, but it sure would be nice to improve my garage. Maybe move all my guns and guitars from the closets inside to the walls out in the garage, change the lighting and ventilation. Put down a nice floor. Leave the Steve Steigman Blown Away poster right where it is. It could go from this:
To this:

I am inspired. Wasn't there a post about Bachelor Pads around here somewhere?

nb: The "after" image is of a garage belonging to a guy who posts on Garage Journal and Rennlist and goes by the handle "Sandoval". I don't have his permission to post it, so if he wants me to remove it all he needs to do is notify me and I will immediately oblige.

A Few Minutes of Your Time: Porsche Design Indicator chronograph

Take a few minutes of your time to watch the video of the Porsche Design Indicator chronograph, reputedly the most sophisticated production wristwatch ever made. That remains to be seen, but it has a unique stopwatch function, a graphic power reserve (to tell you when it needs winding), and some kind of rewind feature. Oh, and it's made of titanium. List price is in the six-figures, but that's almost certainly a marketing ploy, and I expect you can drive one of these babies off the showroom floor for less than twenty large. If I could I would. The video gives you an idea of why it's worth that much. The exploded view assembly is truly incredible.

As a corollary to our OnceWereBachelors motto, if I have to explain it to you, you wouldn't understand.

Mid-Life Crisis Anyone?

I turned 40 years old nine months ago and I haven't gotten any crankier than I was before, I haven't begun to get up ten times a night to pee, and I haven't begun to forget people's names (except for the inconsequential many who populate the background of my life). So how do I know I'm deep in the throes of a mid-life crisis? Three words: Little. Red. Porsche.



Yes, I bought a 1984 Porsche 944 sports car with a 150 horsepower, normally aspirated four cylinder engine, allegedly squeezing out a top speed in the 130 mph range. As much as I love my wife, son, and family, I find that this car occupies my waking thoughts quite frequently. I like to think of it as the car I only dreamed of owning back when it was new and I was a senior in high school, the car that Jake Ryan drove in Sixteen Candles, the car that Porsche Purist Dicks love to hate. It's a quick little piece of german engineering, that can turn in on any car and embarrass it in front of the popular girls, even cars twice its price, twice its horsepower, and half its age.

But I also recognize that it's a desperate attempt at bottling youthfulness. It also represents compromise, being cheap and able to transport a young son in an otherwise useless backseat. Moreso, this particular model has the less-desireable 3 dial dash with unattractive yellow gauges using Seventies technology. I have changed them out for better looking ones, but still it's a work in progress. Note the jokey tank commander goggles hanging from the mirror in this image; I'm trying not to take it seriously, yet I love it.



As the inaugural post of OnceWereBachelors, why is my car even here? Perhaps it's because lost bachelorhood is a desperate state of compromises where fatherhood is a work in progress. And you need to wear tank commander goggles to make it through the black smoke with a smile.