Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Father Son Time

There are 32 years between my dad and me.  He was a childhood survivor of the Japanese occupation of the Philippines during World War II, and I was destined to be a self-absorbed '80s punk rock preppie.  I had everything and he started with very little.  Yet because of his force of personality he imprinted me with a love of cars and aircraft, a handiness with firearms, a readiness for conflict, a facility towards tenderness, and an inclination towards forging deep relationships only.

I don't think he ever understood the skateboarding, the aggressive drums and guitars, the comic books, or the foul language, but I also know he let me be what I wanted, within gentle parameters.  It's what makes me stand aside scratching my head as I watch my son chart his own way.

We are exactly alike yet so different.  It's precisely why when we did something together, father and son, it was always rare, bitter and sweet, and indelible in my mind.  I remember him taking me to see an aviation movie when I was 8.  I remember him grimacing when I confided in him that I thought I had a girlfriend at the age of 13 (I was wrong, but he let me figure it out on my own).  I remember him taking me to see the Blue Angels.  I remember him sitting through some ridiculous Japanese superhero stageshow that came into town.  I remember going with him to the Academy of Sciences Museum at Golden Gate Park while my mom sat in a medical seminar.  I remember getting a Tad's Steak with him in Midtown, because it was what he did when he was still flying.

And I remember going to the Hawaii Raceway Park in 1971 in a rented Chevy Camaro to do some laps.  I had a pink plastic F-104 Starfighter in the pocket of the shorts he and mom brought back for me from Amsterdam.  I was wearing Chuck Taylor knock-offs from Manila.  See?

Incidentally, I think he's none too please with how close I am to the dirt.  Sorry, Dad.  Love you.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Caine's Arcade


If you were ever a little boy, this video will thrill you. If you are a father, it is mandatory viewing.

The lesson I took away from this video is, as a father, it behooves me to enable my son to follow his dreams, act out his wishes, pursue his pursuits. That's what Caine's dad did for him when he gave him the majority of the frontage of his auto parts store in East L.A., so that Caine could build his own game arcade out of old cardboard and odds and ends.

The coda to this, and by far the least important part of the story, is that over $100,000.00 so far has been raised on line because of this arcade. It will go towards Caine's college fund and other scholarships. Read the entire story at www.cainesarcade.com.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Chevrolet: "My Dad's Car"

Lately, I've been seeing the shorter version of this video aired as a Chevy commercial, especially during this season's NCAA and NFL football broadcasts. I found it compelling but assumed it was a typical dramatization. Perhaps even entirely fictional.

Today, I stumbled on the long version, and was quickly disabused of the idea that these were actors fawning over a Chevy Impala rented from a Hollywood rolling stock lot. In a variety of ways, it reminds me that I shouldn't be so cynical.


Evidently, the footage we are treated to is the actual reunification of owner and car. The owner's family knew what was going on but he was told they were doing a piece on multi-generational families. Thoughts about how Chevy was brought in for such a photo-op and how they had the good fortune to have such an eloquent extemporaneous narrator leave my mind as I wonder what I would do for the ones I love.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Me I Want A Hula Hoop

This is a brutal Christmas season this year for reasons that don't need to be specified. Yet I can still get myself into the right mood by hearing David Seville get after his little rodent pals. What are they? His surrogate "children"? His pets? Is he just their manager, because if so, why do they live with him? Even Ruben Kincaid didn't live with the Partridge Family.

During Christmas, my father always played their whole album for my sister and me when we were kids. 'Tis the Season.

Anyway, here they are singing their trademark song. Simon. Theodore. Alvin. The Chipmunks.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I Hate to Admit This

Twenty five years ago, I was an arrogant high schooler who thought he knew everything about everything. I knew that nobody over 30 could ever be reasoned with, that nothing good ever came out of my school, and that I would never come back to Honolulu to live. And I knew that quality music was never broadcast over the commercial airwaves. Back then, when I drove a 20 year old Ford Mustang with a factory radio, broadcast was all I could get, because I was loathe to cut into the original dash to install an aftermarket cassette player. I was forced to listen to the local "album-oriented rock" station. I scoffed at most music that I heard. Even this song. Especially this song.



I remember this song playing over and over my senior year and I thought I hated it. But it was the right song for that time in life. And I found it hard to ignore.

Don Henley crafted a perfect song when he wrote and recorded The Boys of Summer, and I was too immature to acknowledge it for over a decade, maybe more. It's a song full of ghosts and loss. The snare is unwilling to let go and the music that drapes around the lyrics is translucent, like lace on a closed coffin. It is adolescent and worldly at the same time.

Now I'm 42, loving life in Honolulu, and I am proud that my kindergartener son has started at my alma mater.Top: My son strolling the same walkways I walked on his first day of kindergarten. He's preppy in the RL Polo, pegged cargoes, blue argyles, and skechers loafers. And Speed Racer backpack.
Bottom: His homeroom, with Ms. G, who was there when I was.


He is in for thirteen years there, and I am just over the moon that he got accepted and wanted to go there. Hopefully, by the time he graduates he's more mature than I was as a senior so he doesn't miss some universal truths that I missed.

Go here for the original video, which can't be embedded out of YouTube.

Friday, August 21, 2009

The End of Summer Raid





August. Even when you live in the land of the Endless Summer, summer is gonna end. Bookended by Memorial Day and Labor Day, for my family it is a glorious stretch of beach outings, barbecues, unscheduled days off, camp outs, and various larks. This season, so far, we had four days at a fabulous beach house on the quiet windward side of the island, a camping trip complete with huge illegal bonfire and meteorite-like marshmallows, numerous evenings at the King Kamehameha Club, lots of surfing, and goodness knows what else.

To do all of that, you've got to have your kit together, ready to bring it, just like the Long Range Desert Group brung it to the Afrika Corps. Swiftly. Confidently. Effectively. Definitively. The Rat Patrol was already on re-run rotation when I discovered it as an eight year old. I have never been more enamored of a television show I rarely saw. This was back in the early '70s, when regularly scheduled programming hardly was. Some afternoons I would turn on the TV, tune the rabbit ears and there it would happen to be. The Rat Patrol. Sgt. Troy, prissy Sgt. Moffitt, Hitch, and Tully, cresting dunes at high speed in the greatest TV vehicles ever broadcast, a pair of G.I. jeeps mounted with .50 cal. belt-fed machine guns, all trained at the halftracks and "panzers" of Capt. Dietrich, the honorable Prussian.

All that pre-teen adrenaline certainly contributed to my choice of family summer vehicle: the crew cab with surf racks, in desert tan. Capable of transporting all the equipment you need to whatever outdoor destination you've chosen for your tribe of family, friends, and law partners.

I got mine mere months after my son was born. Turned in the two door pick-up after my wife rightfully cut my head off for trying to stuff my son's baby-seat into the rear "Xtra Cab". Sideways. I've never looked back (well maybe a little. That old truck would've taken me to hell and back). This crew cab has since dutifully carried my family through five summers, and I fully expect my son to drive it a dozen years from now.  I dubbed it "Warthog", because to me it is reminiscent of the indefatigable Fairchild A-10 Thunderbolt II attack aircraft, basically a flying rat patrol jeep.



So with roughly two weeks left in August, I've still got hunting coming up, and then beach cabins for the Labor Day weekend. And I still haven't had to mount the fifty cals in the back.

Someday, this summer's gonna end. And when it does, hopefully it ends like an episode of Rat Patrol.





Bottom pic: The Crew Cab, laden wih surfboard, pole tent, folding tent, 3 coolers of food and alcohol, Weber grill, beach toys, water guns, barbecue gear, dry goods, 40 lbs. charcoal, and son sitting safely in the backseat.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

OnceWereBachelors Careers: International Airline Pilot

When you're a bachelor airline pilot flying international routes, you've literally got the whole planet stretched out before you. Possibilities are endless. Your life is a William Holden movie unfolding. You leave home, go someplace exotic, mingle, and return refreshed. When you get married and have children, as my father eventually did, not much really changes except now you miss home, you return to your wife, and you make sure you've got toys in your flight bag for the kids to rifle through in your den.

Before I was in preschool, my father flew routes between Manila, Honolulu, San Francisco, New York, and London for Philippine Airlines. Back in the late Sixties at PAL, that meant Douglas DC-8s. Flying to the States enabled my father to keep his hot American cars, as well as those of his race-car-driver pals, excellently equipped with Goodyear tires he had loaded in the cargo holds of his planes. Corvettes. T-Birds. Mustangs. PAL would send him to flight training with KLM in Amsterdam. That's where he acquired his French aviator sunglasses, Harris tweeds, pegged pants, and Florsheim shoes. The gold Rolex Day-Date Oyster Perpetual he also acquired while travelling, I believe in Hong Kong.

For the PAL pilots back then, Hawaii was a significant touchstone, a waypoint in more ways than navigation. Investments were made here. Real estate. Life insurance policies. Friendships. And of course it was so very much like Manila. So when airline management got chintzy with the pilots, and a strike they organized collapsed because of scabs who crossed the line, my father resigned from PAL, packed up his whole OnceWereBachelor life, and moved us all to Honolulu. He traded the large Metro Manila home with the den and bar and the maids and houseboy for a small cottage on hospital grounds where my mother became a resident physician, a profession she barely needed to practice while dad flew the endless skies.

My father considered a few options, the least promising of which was American International Airline Pilot. Something about quotas for non-American-trained flyers, despite the fact that KLM training was top of the industry back then. Next least promising was bartender. My father has never been very talkative or hospitable and smoky places make him irritable. Eventually, he settled on life insurance, which he turned into a nearly thirty-year second career. He barely looked back during those three decades. Once I asked him if he regretted ever leaving PAL. Without hesitation he scoffed at the thought and pointed out that if he hadn't he doubted he would have a lawyer son or a surgeon daughter. I tend to agree. Privileged Manila Kid is a dicey upbringing to have, but I digress.

Selling life insurance sure wasn't the same as world travel, hands at the controls, thousands of pounds of thrust at your command. So it is not lost on me that this was one of many, many sacrifices that my father made for the better of our family. In this day and age, where I myself espouse quality of life, insisting that I couldn't work at a job I was unhappy doing, my father's sacrifice is even more remarkable.

This is barely the story of my father, really. I mentioned the maids and houseboy? In this new, non-airline pilot life, dad did most of the feeding and cleaning and grocery shopping and bill paying, while mom built her medical practice. He drove us to and from school. And he sold life insurance with great success.

Dad's in his early seventies now, and thanks to grandchildren, I truly believe he's getting younger and younger. He hasn't worked in years. When they can pry themselves away from our kids my parents travel often, mostly to Madrid and Manila, anywhere we have family. But for the sake of my dad, even though he retired from Equitable Life, I like to think of him as a former airline pilot and I always will.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. There will never be enough of them in my lifetime and yours together for me to be able to express my love and gratitude to you.

Top: My dad in the right seat of a DC-8 cockpit.
Bottom: My dad and his red 1955 T-Bird.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bombardment Society Founder

Somehow, this commercial for General Motors' Hummer captured my imagination years ago, back when gasoline was abundant and affordable. I loved its exuberance, and of course, the Who track tugged at my heart and made me chuckle. I saved an episode of Frasier on VHS somewhere, merely because it contained this advertisment.



So when I first watched auteur Wes Anderson's sophomore film Rushmore for the first time on DVD and after the hype died down, the opening montage pulled me in the same direction. The film has become one of my favorites (along with Anderson's The Royal Tennenbaums). The British Invasion music is there, as is the go cart and the whimsy. It is one of the great movie opening sequences because it succinctly introduces the character of Max Fischer, Rushmore Academy's ne'er do well who dances along the edge of expulsion, finally teetering off in a wild fandango.



I think I could do worse than raise my son into a Max Fischer, even though Max Fischer is a failure of sorts and, in a sentence, "one of the worst students we've got" at Rushmore. Come on, he's not the lacrosse captain, but the equipment manager. He founded the Bombardment Society, thereby lending gravitas to the playground game of sham battle. He is only ever seen dressed in his alma mater's crested blazer and, once expelled and stripped of it, he has to struggle to rediscover his own self-image. But he succeeds in that struggle, thus, in my opinion, erasing all his earlier failures.

Except for a brief episode of self-doubt, Max is ever the optimist. He is the high school playwright and director who figures out how to involve pyrotechnics in his productions. He launches a petition to save latin. He is the Boy Who Would Not Bend. I respect that. In fact, contrast him to a pre-Lost in Translation Bill Murray, a self-made, self-loathing millionaire who first makes Max a protege, then competes with him for the heart of a young school teacher. Neither of them win her, that would've been weird, but who wages the more effective fight? Why, Max, of course.

Yes, I'd like my son to be the lacrosse captain, although knowing his old man, he won't be. But I'd like him to be Something Else, and I know he will be that.

Monday, January 12, 2009

What I Wore Twenty Five Years Ago


A long time ago, in my I Didn’t Know As Much As I Thought I Did days I was a punk rock skateboard kid of the second generation (the first generation being the wiggy hippies from the seventies, and the third being today’s mind-blowing kids with no fear). Most days, I could be found listening to the Adolescents on my Sony Walkman kitted out in skatepunk attire. That would be: plaid shorts and white Hanes t-shirts, which I hand-decorated in black indelible ink with the genre’s logos and bands. Black and white and plaid all over was my leitmotif. Without fail, I was shod in Converse Chuck Taylor hi-tops in a range of colors, from classic black or white to maroon or turquoise (hey it was the Eighties). Those were great shoes, and still are. In fact, I currently have a pair in conservative navy blue. Still goes well with everything casual that I wear, from jeans, cargo shorts, or khakis. I’m eyeing classic whites for my next.
The skateboard and hi-tops marriage is a venerable one, because of the support provided to the ankle. There were my Chucks, for sure, but others wore other basketball shoes including the original Air Jordans, and others still wore the first industry-made skateboarding shoe, Vans. I myself thought Vans were a bit “on the nose” and obvious, but I’ve got a pair now, for irony’s sake.



That’s Natas Kaupas from Venice, CA, sporting a pair of unidentifiable basketball shoes. His performance on a skateboard pretty much convinced me to give it up and helped me admit to myself that I was only ever really faking it all those years.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Two Wheels Good


So I know next to nothing about motorcycles. With a wife, son, career, mortgage, and the various other accoutrements of OnceWereBachelor obligations, I’ve a feeling I never will know more than I do now. I’d love to own a fancy Ducati cafĂ© racer, but that ain’t happening any time soon.

The primary thing I know about motorcycles is that they make you cool. After all, riding a motorcycle made Fonzie cool, even when he was jumping sharks on waterskis. There was a pre-teen period in my life when I would’ve given anything to be like him. Especially after each Thursday night broadcast, I really believed that one could make sodas come out of vending machines for free by hitting them just right, or getting girls to swoon with a snap of fingers.

But I digress. Motorcycles.

I don’t think I’ve ever even ridden a motorcycle, and I probably never will. The closest I came was riding my college housemate’s Honda C70 Passport, more a scooter really. I remember one night I had about five minutes to return a video or suffer another night’s rental charge. I borrowed his red and white Passport, donned his helmet and roared down Prospect St. towards the Alpha Video off Wisconsin Ave. Having never learned to drive a stick shift car at that point in my young life I snapped through the gears recklessly, lurching forward each time. Just as I turned a corner I downshifted, accelerating into the bumper of a parked car. The sudden stop sent me over the handlebars, right in front of two dozen Georgetown students eating dinner at Booeymonger’s, a popular sandwich shop. Having some residual Fonzie-wannabe DNA in me, I thought it uncool to strap my housemate’s dorky white helmet on at all, so the sudden impact sent it flying off at 30 mph. I remember hearing a girl I knew from my African Ideas of God class blurt out in fright “Ohmigod, his HEAD came off” as she came rushing out the door to help.

I realize that, although it may not be with motorcycles or leather jackets or magic fingers, I’m still trying to be cool like Fonzie. DNA from those Thursday nights is still there, and at this point in my life, I shouldn’t have to struggle to snap down that dorky white helmet, but I do.

Honda Passport image came from this website. If I am violating your copyright, please notify me and I will immediately remove it. Thank you.